I stumbled upon this beauty…

Pretty much all my friends (and teachers D:) know about this story. I;m sure this will haunt me to my grave

Every year my school holds a holiday trip to Florida, having never been there I immediately wanted to go, my parents gave in eventually ad let me go, Finally the day came and I was on my way to Florida I Noticed I had a funny feeling in my stomach just before I left the house, But I assumed it was excitement.

I get to Disneyland (the third day out on the holiday) and now I’m feeling very bloated and queasy after going about 4 days without crapping. Anyway the first thing my friends want to do is get something to eat (since we overslept and missed breakfast), we charge to a fast food stall and they tempt me into getting a hot dog, I knew as soon as I finished it that I would regret it.

Some hours later my stomach is feeling like a balloon and I start to get the feeling that I need to do a huge shit, I’m sweating and clenching my butt together just waiting in the line for Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. I looked desperately at the queue, willing it to move. I let a few farts slip out by accident then walking, but it turned out they weren’t just farts.

I Felt an alarming moistness on my butt cheeks and I feel some shit come out. My face literally was like this O.O as the shit continued to fill my panties, the stench was filling the air and my friends were looking around to see what it was, I tried to play along but little did I know that the shit had gone through my panties and began to drip down my leg. Whats worse? I was wearing tiny denim shorts. I turn around to look at my ass and my worst fears are confirmed. The entire ass section of my shorts was covered in shit. I sprint through the queue and to the toilets. I manage to clean myself up and then realize I have no more clothes.

I had to walk back to the meeting spot wearing a towel.

Poot…?

So one of our friends was still a little drunk the morning after drinking a lot. She was sitting on her kitchen floor with her boyfriend and one of her roommates eating eggs and toast. Then she said, “I have to poot.” 

Now, I don’t know if you know this, but “poot” means “fart.” 

Anyway, her roommate’s face showed that she was trying to come to terms with this statement. Our friend looked at her roommate and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Her roommate said, “You just said you were gonna poop on the kitchen floor!”

Our friend immediately began laughing and telling her, “NO!! POOT! It means fart!”

We got another one.

This story comes from another awesome stranger on omegle. 

Stranger: aha okay, so it was back in middle school, 7th grade, i just finished p.e and im headed to the locker room and i notice this kid running towards the toilets and these group of boys all blocked his was and cornered him until hes forced to shit his pants, then when he did, his whole pants was all wet from the poop and he was crying, and when the bell rang for the next period, he had to walk in his shit pants to his next class funny thing is, im in his next class period , the whole classroom smelled like poop & one of the kids in the class sitting next to him vomited cuz he was grossed out by the smell

Credits to Kyle Debelen. Follow him on instagram @authenticaloha :)

derpypacifist:

Things that will never stop being funny

  • poop
  • poop
  • poop 
  • and last but not least
  • POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

It’s what this blog’s about. 

I did a really stupid idea of taking laxatives before bed..

theamusedpanda:

I’m not going to be getting any sort of sleep tonight I think… Oops

(Source: gracingyou)

dPoop isn’t worth pooping, unless it is pooped for someone else.

Albert Einstein (via poopquotes)

(Source: ariiawii)

simplyyput:

The most awkward thing about living somewhere with a public bathroom is when you’re pooping and all of a sudden someone else walks in and you have now become pooping buddies. Both doing your business at the same time, not knowing who your buddy is.

corvidophil3:

OH MY FUCKING GOD I’M AMAZED AND SHOCKED AND PROUD ALL AT ONCE. WOW. W..WOW, WOW. I have actually very few impressive poop stories, IF YOU HAVE MORE, LAY EM DOWN, I’LL COMPILE THEM IN A FEW WEEKS WHEN I GET THE INTERNET UP AND RUNNING PROPERLY AGAIN ON THE COMPUTER AND SURPRISE YOU ONE DAY WHEN YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOU’VE EVER SENT THEM TO ME.
The only other one I can recall at the moment is the time I had diarrhea for two weeks straight and got dehydrated (see tag: diarrhea diaries), and the time I had rabbit pellets. LIKE POOPING MARBLES THAT WERE STUCK TOGETHER.

corvidophil3:

OH MY FUCKING GOD I’M AMAZED AND SHOCKED AND PROUD ALL AT ONCE. WOW. W..WOW, WOW. I have actually very few impressive poop stories, IF YOU HAVE MORE, LAY EM DOWN, I’LL COMPILE THEM IN A FEW WEEKS WHEN I GET THE INTERNET UP AND RUNNING PROPERLY AGAIN ON THE COMPUTER AND SURPRISE YOU ONE DAY WHEN YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOU’VE EVER SENT THEM TO ME.

The only other one I can recall at the moment is the time I had diarrhea for two weeks straight and got dehydrated (see tag: diarrhea diaries), and the time I had rabbit pellets. LIKE POOPING MARBLES THAT WERE STUCK TOGETHER.